Embracing the wind

Have you ever tried to hold on to your belongings when the wind is blowing hard? Whether you're at the beach trying to hold on to your straw hat or you're desperately clinging on to your umbrella on a cold rainy, windy day. Holding on when the wind seems stronger than your footing on the ground is tough and almost impossible.

I have felt this way in life. Circumstances blew away things that I was certain about. Even the things I thought I would always have a firm grip on. But life is like that. The more you live, the more you learn you really don't have control of everything. And many times when we let go we don't always get the things we surrendered back. Sometimes we do.

I recently met a strong godly woman who encouraged me to start pursuing the things that I shelved for a season of my life. She asked me to start dancing and singing again. You see, I stopped doing these things because life was tough. I stopped dreaming and I completely surrendered my life to the raging and often overwhelming winds. But now, I'm embracing the wind and asking for my dreams back. I'm asking for my life back.

This time around the wind seems gentler than before. And it's breeze is starting to feel kind of nice on my face.

I hate the words, "Let go"

There are two words that I have come to detest more than any other words. “Let go.” I hate those words!

It seems the last four years of my life have been filled with those two detestable words. I have come to understand that if I really love or want something that I must “let it go” or release. Some of the things I’ve released have come back to me, and some haven’t. I don’t like letting go. It is easier for me to give money to a charity or to tithe at church than it is for me to give up something that I own. Maybe this is selfish but it’s honest. And letting go hasn’t just been a matter of releasing things.

I’ve had to release my life, dreams, and future to a destiny I have often been unfamiliar with. What else do you do when everything you hoped for and dreamed about as a little girl turns out the opposite? Sure, life doesn’t usually turn out exactly the way we think it will but for most it’s at least functional and bears some similarity to what you dreamed up in your mind. Not my life. I’ve been utterly surprised. For me it seems that destiny took over and painted a different picture. Life is looking nothing like I’d every predicted it to.

My life in the last few years has felt like sand running through my hands. As much as I tried to hold it tight things just seemed to slide through the cracks and before I knew it, it had slipped away. In the last five years, I have had to release just about everything in my possession, my marriage when it was shaky, the home I loved in TN, the friends I made on the journey, the promise of two great in-laws (hubby’s dad passed away in 2006), and there are so many more things that could make up a memoir that could end up on Oprah’s book club. Now, that’s an idea!

Just a day ago I had to “let go” again. This time I had to say goodbye to my German Shepherd dog. He’s just a dog people have said but to me he was more than that. He was a companion. He was my friend.

Basko was there during the shaky times in my marriage where I could feel my heart breaking within me. Basko was there during unemployment when my husband and I had to go to the local pantry to make sure we had food for the week. Basko was there when a terrible argument over finances reduced me to tears. He’d sit next to me with his back arched straight up as he always did as if standing guard next to me protecting me from breaking. Maybe it’s all in my imagination? Maybe I’m dreaming it all up. Maybe he is just a dog who will forget me in a matter of weeks. But I can’t help missing him. I can’t help feeling that my dog, who belonged to me not long ago will be someone else’s; that years from now he won’t even remember who I am.

Right now I’m crying and mourning his loss. Because even if he was just a dog he was there when I needed him. I’m praying this is the last time in a long time that I will have to “let go” of something that I love because my heart just couldn’t bear another surrender.

What's the issue with prayer?

Since when did prayer become an offense? It seems that everyone is bothered with the idea of prayer these days.

When someone dies it is so easy to say, “Your family is in my thoughts and prayers,” “My prayers are with you,” or “I’m praying for you,” but many times fail to do it. Aren’t we then liars for stating we’ll pray for someone when the majority of us seem to be against the idea of prayer in the first place?

Years ago, when Paris Hilton was serving prison time for whatever she did, “The Hollywood Prayer Network” got ripped apart on CNN for stating that they were praying for Ms. Hilton.
Ironically, around that time I was working at The Christian Broadcast Network as a Partner Service Representative, receiving donations for the ministry and praying on the phone with callers. I had a woman call in asking me to pray for Paris Hilton.

My first thought was, “C’mon give me a break.” But then after pausing a few seconds I thought to myself, “She is one of God’s children after all.” Is it really my job (or anyone else’s) to decide who’s worthy of prayer? After thinking a few judgmental thoughts I eventually joined this stranger in praying for Paris Hilton.

This note wasn’t written to dispute whether one should pray for a celebrity like Hilton. What I’m trying to state is that if someone chooses to pray for another we should honor that choice and celebrate them for caring enough to pray. And why should praying for a celebrity or anyone for that matter be such a point of contention? Shouldn’t we be applauding the person who takes the time to pray for another? Usually Christians get accused of being judgmental (which many are). But there are plenty of good kind-hearted Christians out there who have the compassion to set aside time to pray for people whether they’re a reality star, actor, singer, or just the single mom down the street.

Franklin Graham is getting a whole lot of slack and humiliation for trying to lead a “National Day of Prayer,” which it seems to me we desperately need. Why is it such a major issue now? According to Graham, America needs prayer more than ever. "At a time when our country is waging two wars, approval ratings for Congress are at historic lows, unemployment is at a 70-year high and financial institutions have collapsed around us, I can't imagine anyone seriously opposing a National Day of Prayer," he said.

What is wrong with our country? It’s not like Mr. Graham’s going to protest at somebody’s funeral like that church in Topeka, KS we hear too much about. The man is simply calling the nation to pray! I’m sure there are many in other religions praying for America. What’s so wrong with someone calling on others to dedicate a day to the very thing many of us promise to do but may never follow through with?

Who’s the bigger hypocrite? The man who actually prays, or those who say they will but don't follow through with it?

Ghandhi and Christianity

Mahatma Ghandhi, undoubtedly one of the wisest and most peaceful leaders to walk the planet once said, “I would have become a Christian if it weren’t for Christians.”

Although I agree to a point that some Christians can deter others from following the faith I have to say that this mindset has become a bit of a crutch for many.

Yes, there are a lot of Christians who suck. There are also many who call themselves "Christians" and attach bible verses to their hateful agendas (think of that little church in Topeka, Kansas...). Although many Christians are hypocritical, judgmental, and legalistic should we allow those who give Christianity a bad name determine our personal belief?

There are a lot of mean people in the world, but I’m still going to be a part of society. There are a lot stupid people on social media circuits but I’m not closing my Facebook account. Life is unfair and unpredictable at times but I’m still here. Get my drift? I refuse to let other believer's decisions define or determine my own faith.

Ms. L

He looks at the heart

God: You see a sleazy prostitute, I see a woman who was abused as a child in search of love and acceptance.

You see a druggie on the street, I see a young man who’s father was an alcoholic leading him to a life on the streets in search of a family.

You see a stupid pregnant teenager who didn’t use protection. I see a little girl who’s parents neglected her and so she felt having a baby would help her feel loved.

God looks at the heart. Maybe we should too.

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
-1 Samuel 16:7

This looks like a great movie....

Even God Weeps

What if the pain you were experiencing was so great that even God wept, that even the angels bowed their heads in silence.

Did God weep during the holocaust when millions of European-Jews were beaten, starved and burned alive because of their race?

Did God weep when the terrorist attack on 911 took the lives of thousands and later brought upon a war that took thousands more?

Did God weep when the 2004 tsunami in South East Asia drowned his children, leaving millions homeless and thousands of children orphaned?

Did God weep when Haiti was struck by one of the worst Earthquakes ever documented? Did God not weep when mothers clung to their babies and many died under crushed under rubble?

If God never weeps or hurts with us then He wouldn’t be love. Sometimes when I’m broken I can almost hear heaven sigh. Sometimes I feel closest to God when I’m hurting.

If Jesus wept for Lazarus after his death and was often moved with compassion by the hurt and suffering of others while on earth then He is surely still weeping today.

Jesus wept. One of the greatest verses in the Bible.